14 August 05
The "M" Word
One of the advantages of working in academia, which I’ve done most of my professional life, is that you get quite insulated from corporate doublespeak, the scarily surreal world of Dilbert. This is changing, though. Universities in the U.S. are facing budget cuts and all compete for the best students. In upper levels of university administration this means that eyes are ever more fixed on the bottom line, and how to improve it. Strategic plans and mission statements pop up like Hello Kitty banners all over the place. Nobody ever pays any attention to them, but it’s important to be seen to be “doing” something. Style, not substance. Slick, not sweaty. Fluff.
And then, suddenly, right out of the blue, everyone’s a goddam marketing expert. Oh, but you have to have branding, a veterinary epidemiologist tells me. We need a logo, says another one, never mind that this contradicts university policy (there is already a UC Davis logo and an illegitimate Vet Med logo, and we need a third on top of that? Oy.). I’m a communications specialist and I agree, the message needs to get out there, but I get very weary of these pushes to corporateness when underneath it all it’s not about being better or more effective, it’s about looking good and staying on message.
Weary, and also suspicious. If we have an undergraduate drinking problem—which we do—surely the way to address it is not by marketing and advertising to the students but by trying to understand exactly what it is that makes them want to drink 21 shots on their 21st birthday (hint: it’s not because they’re a member of the “Millennial Generation,” a term coined by a clever dick marketing whizz). I wish more emphasis were placed on learning around here rather than how to attract more dollars. It’s rule by committee taken to glossy, ludicrous extremes.
Everyone protests that more dollars will lead to better learning, but I’m seeing that this marketing drive has taken on a life of its own, has become its own end.
Which, if you think about the most successful marketing campaign in history, is just about on the mark. It was a few unsavory characters in Germany in the 1930s who got it so very right, where the logo became the vortex leading to a hell never before seen. Logo? Check. Strategic plan? Check. Staying on message? Check, check, check mate.
If you need a marketing campaign to be so successful, though, where’s Osama Bin Laden’s? Where’s the logo? Where’s the strategic plan? Where’s the mission statement? Where are the ubiquitous ineffectual committees? Oh. Right. In Washington.
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On the other hand, when they say they want a Strategic ACTION Plan, I know they want nothing to happen at all.
The question this raises for me, is not the need to make adjustments, but rather why DOES it take so long to implement change? Are the changes too comprehensive, the plans too simplified or too detailed? Without a map, our travels would be unfocused, disorganized, and our destination even further away – but the challenge seems to be in following the map. I dare say I believe its about distractions.