17 September 03
Arrival of a Painting
Still life is a complicated and often misunderstood genre, but I have great hopes that it is being revived in a very interesting way by artists like Gainor Roberts, which is why I asked her to do a painting for us as a couple. It is my wedding gift to Numenius.
Click on the image at left for a larger view. Every single element in this painting is a private signifier.
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Most artists’ careers are mapped by significant paintings that altered their thinking and/or way of painting. This is one of those paintings for me. I had no idea going into it that it would be such a vast learning experience for me. I have done other “symbolic” still lifes before, each one representing a person, or event in a person’s life. But this painting for Numenius and Pica was technically difficult for me, (not having the binoculars, the scene out the window or the tandem to actually see and to derive from photographs). To make it all come together in a meaningful whole I used my computer extensively and digital photography as well. I have done all this before, but the work on this particular painting cemented methods I’ve been experimenting with in the past and the technotools were such a help.
The painting also stepped me up to the next plateau of my development as an artist. This is the first time I was aware of it happening as it happened. It is only in retrospect that I can say, this or that painting was a key marker in my development. I knew this was a key painting from the minute I started to paint it. But to define what that shift acutally is falls into the realm of the spirit rather than about technology. I can say what it is not; it is not about the way the paint goes down on the canvas, or the way the colors are mixed, or even about how paintings like this are conceived. It may be simply that it is a deeper reach inside oneself, to the corners that don’t often see any light at all.
Some paintings are a wrestle. They never seem easy, like some children, they wiggle and squirm, fuss and throw tantrums, and their creator has an uneasy relationship with those paintings from the start. Getting them under some kind of control is a test of wills between that painting and the artist. Others paint themselves in a kind of mystical union that is impossible to describe. This one was one of those rare events in the latter category. Sometimes when I am able to put ego aside I look at it and feel that I didn’t do that painting, which of course is nonsense, as any of my friends and family can tell you I was enmeshed in this for months. But that feeling of effortless work, the Zen of creation, comes so seldom to us, and when it does it’s a revelation that is akin to a spiritual experience. To have been given the opportunity to do a painting like this was a gift as well, and I will forever be grateful to Pica for asking me to do it. To have a client as gifted as she is is also wonderful. In all the other paintings I’ve done in this genre the subject and how it was done was up to me. In this case Pica was very specific about the “private signifiers” in the painting, leaving me with how to get it all in. She thinks along the same lines I do, and it was definitely a collaboration between the two of us. Thank you Pica!
The genre of still life has intrigued me from the start of my formal training. It is similar to chamber music I think. Somewhat cerebral, and definitely a journey for the artist sometimes more than the viewer. I think the viewing public now sees still life as old fashioned and boring. Especially when contemporary artists often seek to inflame their viewers. I remain outside the contemporary trends and turn to still life over and over to express myself. And it is an experience. Gazing for weeks at an apple causes a merging, I become it, it becomes me. Everything falls away and nothing else matters. My teacher said that you must learn to paint the inside of the apple to really be a good painter. Of course I didn’t understand that for many years. And to have that happen makes one confront the demons and gods inside oneself on a regular basis. I was so terrified of that I nearly stopped painting about 20 years ago. It is still somewhat terrifying but at least I know what is going on now when it happens.
Thank you again Pica, for giving me the opportunity to create a work of art for you and Numenius.